What country makes you shiver?
Chile.

What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede.

What did one magnet say to the other?
I find you very attractive.

What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.

What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?
The Presidential Seal.

What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't move, I've got you covered.

What bird can lift the most?
A crane.

What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.

Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!